|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I bought paint.
I painted.
It's not the greatest piece of work ever, but I feel pretty good about it, especially since I did it in about an hour and it's the first time I put a brush to canvas in almost 10 years. It was nice to work on something. I may do it more now.
This is a cameraphone picture, so it doesn't look that great. Sorry.
 | | |
| This is what I think*:
1. Music and memories are tied together. Always.
2. A guitar just feels right in my hands. I should practice more.
3. I’m never going to be the man I want to be. I’m probably not going to be the man you want me to be, either.
4. If I know you, I’ve probably let you down or hurt you. I’m sorry. If I haven’t yet, I will.
5. I’m a screwed up a person. I think I may be a little crazy. I always screw up the things that matter most to me.
6. It’s ok that I’m screwed up.
7. My life is a movie. I’m not sure what kind yet though.
8. I’m given to fits of sentimentality. Please excuse them.
9. I’m given to cynicism. I don’t like this. The world is far too wonderful and life is far too short for me to be so cynical.
10. Some things are wrong, and they always will be, no matter how we try to spin it. I’m guilty of most, if not all, of these things.
11. I like to think of myself as a romantic. I’m probably not really though. See #9.
12. I tend toward melancholy.
13. Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
14. The end of Crime and Punishment is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. Also, the part of The Idiot where Myshkin is talking about the man how is sentenced to death. I am Raskolnikov and this man.
15. Sad music makes me smile and comforts me when I’m feeling depressed, which happens fairly regularly.
16. I place too much stock in my appearance.
17. You don’t really know me. No one does.
18. I’m shy and proud and self-conscious and confident to the point of cockiness. It may not make sense, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
19. Harmony makes me happy. So do “Ooohs” and “Aaahs.” I really like classic Motown. And the Beach Boys.
20. I don’t like the phone, but it still makes me sad when people don’t call.
21. I like good beer. And cheese. I’m somewhat of a beer snob. Not so much a cheese snob, though.
22. I’m bad at talking. I used to be good at writing. I’ve forgotten how to do it now.
23. I should be better at loving people.
24. I don’t deserve any of the good things I have. I’ll still take them though.
25. I have an amazing family. I should call them more.
26. A good day is listening to the rain and reading a good novel. Or watching the rain with someone you care for. Either way, it rains on a good day.
27. Old black and white movies are better.
28. John Steinbeck and Ernest Hemingway are two of the greatest Americans who have ever lived.
29. I’m not in control, and it’s all going to be ok. I still believe.
*This is not a complete list of what I think. Just what I thought while sitting in the middle of the floor listening to Andrew Osenga’s Letters to the Editor, Vol. 1 by myself.
| | |
| I've spent the last few years thinking that I need to start painting again. I still think that.
Also, my daily writing plan did not go as planned. I fell into my usual way of not doing things that I say I'm going to do. I think that I may not be very reliable. If there is anyone who would like to keep me accountable, please feel free to do so.
I wrote and recorded a couple of new songs. They're on the myspace.
People should come to Jackson and visit me. It will be fun. I might cook for you.
I suppose that is all for now.
| | |
| Has a nation changed its gods,
even though they are no gods?
But my people have changed their glory
for that which does not profit.
Be appalled, O heavens, at this;
be shocked, be utterly desolate,
declares the LORD,
for my people have committed two evils:
they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water.
I am a sinner. This means something. It isn't empty. It isn't some vague, amorphous, overly-spiritual proclamation. But that's what I've made it.I am a sinner. It's meant nothing more to me than, there's something in me that doesn't seek God. It's let me hide behind spiritual words and the right answers. My sin isn't that, though. My sins are concrete. They are dirty. They have consequences. I am a liar and an adulterer. I am an idolator. I have forsaken the living God, the only source of true delight. I've made for myself idols that can provide no real pleasure. I've willfully sinned in pursuit of these idols. I've harbored these sins in my heart. I've hardened it against God and his saints.
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
God's hand has been heavy on me, but still I have hidden away my shame and guilt. He allowed me to continue in my secret sin for a season, but no longer. God is laying bare my deepest secrets. He is bringing the light to shine on those dirty, secret sins I've kept. And it is hard. I don't like the consequences, but I have brought them on myself. It's hard, but it is good. It is necessary. It is how I am brought to repentence.
As great as is my sin, God's grace is greater still. His mercy abounds far more than I could ever imagine. It is new every morning when I rise, to cover over the new sins that rise with me. I can praise him as I have been unable to for so long. I can see that he is a truly great savior, who can cover over my great sin.
I am holy, not because of anything in me, but despite everything that was in me. I have said this so many times before, but I don't know if I've ever really believed it. God is good. He has covered me with the righteousness of Christ. He has put the seal of the Holy Spirit in my heart. He has declared me pure and righteous. He has put to death that sinner and has made me a saint.
Praise God and our Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself up for one such as I and all those who came before and will follow after in this great faith which he has written and is completing in us. We are unable to purchase for ouselves that which we most need, but God has given to us an invitation.
Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.
| | |
| I'm moving to Jackson Monday. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this yet. Mixed emotions I suppose.
| | |
|
